It is the middle of a fun and busy weekend. We have been doing a garage sale the past 3 days...make that2 days. We attempted to do the sale today and it was FREEZING cold and windy so we shut it down. Thursday and Friday were great. Rob took such good care of Brandon on the lawn. He loved being outside the entire day. He isn't a fan of grass though and makes the best faces. He loves to crawl on the rocks and try and eat sticks. Our great neighbor, Pam has been also sitting with us. She has a bunch of stuff in the sale too and she loves sitting with us too. She makes the day go faster and is so sweet.
Thursday was a crazy busy day. We did well. After the sale I was so tired and my back hurt bad. My mom and Tim were so kind to take us to dinner so we wouldn't have to cook. So nice of them. It really helped. After dinner I walked in the door, jumped in the shower and hit the bed. I was so tired.
Friday was better for my back. We shut the sale down and got ready for a fun night. Brandon did a sleep over at Grandma and Grandpa's (my mom and Tim's). It was so helpful of them to offer to take care of him for a while. Rob and I hadn't been on a date night in forever. We had some dinner and then saw I Love You Man. We had a fun time and it was nice to be able to think of my husband first and foremost before wondering about Brandon. He did really well at gma and gpas. He stayed almost all day Saturday too.
Saturday it is SO cold so we shut the sale down. Brandon was still at Gma and Gpas. Rob and I went to Cowboy Jacks for some lunch- super fun and good. Great party place too for all the party folk out there. After we ate we grabbed some candy and headed to another movie, Knowing. It was HORRIBLE. I can't believe I even spent 3 bucks on it. After the movie we went to pick up little love. He has the BEST smile when he realizes mom and dad are back. But he hung on to Grandma and didn't really want to go.
CUTE STORY: Rob and I dropped Brandon off at Gma and Gpas on Saturday early evening around 5pm. After we left and got a ways down the road I noticed Rob was very quiet. When I looked over he seemed teary eyed. I asked what was wrong and he started crying that he really missed bear and didn't know what he would do without him. We talked about it for a while and then decided to focus on each other. Rob has been with Brandon non-stop for a few weeks now since my back is getting worse. He does everything for Brandon so for him to get a break can hit him like a ton of bricks. He needed a few moments to be sad and then we moved on with our date.
My mom (Gma Dina) was so excited about watching Brandon. She gave Brandon some new foods. I am so proud of her for trying new things. She can worry a bit too much at time. She was so creative and gave him chicken salad and rice-a-roni. He loved both of them. We will be trying them at home. Thanks Grandma!
Okay, I am now super sleepy so I am off to bed. Bear is sound asleep- he goes to sleep so well- sweet boy.
G Nite
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Quick Cute Story
I was using the bathroom the other day and must not have totally 'clicked' the door. Brandon came crawling through rather quickly. By the time I hit the flush button and got to the sink to wash my hands he had made the way over to the toilet and lifted it up. With my hands still wet I was begging him to put the seat down (I was telling him but in my mind I was BEGGING). NOPE- in go the hands. I rush a whole 2 feet away and pull him out with wet hands. I wash his hands and mine all over again. I set him in the hallway closing the bathroom door (or thinking I did). I went through the bathroom to the other door to get my cell phone off my night stand. I started talking to my boss while making my way back to the bathroom and out the door....only to find Brandon made his cute little way into the bathroom but this time to the toilet paper roll and unraveled the entire thing. When I mean entire I mean ENTIRE...I put that roll on that morning. Right when I was walking in he realized the toilet paper should go somewhere...but where? Oh, yea- there is this toilet thing. He was shoving toilet paper into the toilet! I scream and swear at my boss and tell her I will call her back. As for Brandon......he smiles and then laughs!
A night of discipline
Tonight was tough for Brandon Bear.
He had a fun time in the bath and I didn't even care when he splashed. I actually joined him in the splashing fun and got all wet myself. He did want to stand up often and we had some chats about keeping his butt in the water.
After bath time we played "Hide the wenis" We try to make putting the diaper back on fun when a little boy gets out of the tub and starts running around nakey. Once the diaper was on and the 'wenis' was hidden (thank goodness) we did jammies and tried to play quietly in the living room and watch the Twins.
Brandon wanted to play with the tv. This is one thing we are very strict on and do NOT let him do. He first wants to turn the tv on and off and then bang on the screen. He gets one quiet, eye level warning. He rarely obeys and does it again. When he does that we visit the 'time out wall'. This is the spot at the end of the upstairs hallway. He sits there for one minute. I usually sit with him making no eye contact and usually holding him so he doesn't run. This is teaching him that he needs to stay in time out and that mom means business- this isn't fun and play time but time to think about his actions, calm down, re-group and continue with the evening. Tonight he got 3 of these and he screamed through 2 of them. We use the end of the hallway because we don't want to do his room or crib because that is where he sleeps and it is a peaceful place. We don't want to do a time out on our lap in the living room since that is where the action is and he needs to be removed from the action. And we are working on making mommy and daddy's room a special room to be in so we don't want to do it there either.
Once his time is up I look right at him on eye level and tell him the same thing every time, "Brandon, your time out is up. The reason why you were in time out is because you did not listen to mommy and daddy and you hit the television. We don't hit the television. The next time you hit the television you will be in time out again. I love you very much." Then I give him lots of hugs and kisses so he knows we love him and care about him and then we go play. Tonight it took him some time to get back in to the 'play' thing again. He wanted to sit in the middle of the hall and cry. After attempting to engage him and it not working I just went in the living room and started to play and he eventually joined in.
After the third time of time outs and television hitting I was getting exhausetd (this was all in less than 10 minutes). There was a second of thought thinking if I just slap his hands lightly won't he get the picture! NOPE! He won't and most likely he will just keep hitting the tv and other things and people. Rob and I were spanked growing up but we have agreed to not spank our kids. So far- so good. It is hard to be consistant and dedicated to discipline. The hard part for me is it being 8pm and night in lots of back pain and having to move up and down from floor to recliner to standing. It makes me sound lazy but evening time is very painful and moving exhausts everything.
As for discipline- we will continue to work on it. I felt bad that he was crying and it seemed like the world was ending but I didn't give up. I won't give up. We are committed to raising well behaved kids and we are dedicated to the journey no matter how hard or easy it may be. We do re-direct him often. After time out we start a different play item and when he gets his first warning we redirect him as well.
Many folks have thought I am nuts for starting to discipline him at only one year old. To that I reply....he is much smarter than you or I know. He knows yes and no...he knows how to ask for things without speaking...he knows he isn't supposed to bang the tv and that when he does he will get a reaction out of it. We have to start somewhere and right now discipling him for one thing (The tv) is exactly what we should be doing.
It actually reminds me a bit of when I was managing the Alzheimers unit and I would tell everyone- our residents are smater than we give them credit for. They do know what is going on from time to time. I do believe that.
He had a fun time in the bath and I didn't even care when he splashed. I actually joined him in the splashing fun and got all wet myself. He did want to stand up often and we had some chats about keeping his butt in the water.
After bath time we played "Hide the wenis" We try to make putting the diaper back on fun when a little boy gets out of the tub and starts running around nakey. Once the diaper was on and the 'wenis' was hidden (thank goodness) we did jammies and tried to play quietly in the living room and watch the Twins.
Brandon wanted to play with the tv. This is one thing we are very strict on and do NOT let him do. He first wants to turn the tv on and off and then bang on the screen. He gets one quiet, eye level warning. He rarely obeys and does it again. When he does that we visit the 'time out wall'. This is the spot at the end of the upstairs hallway. He sits there for one minute. I usually sit with him making no eye contact and usually holding him so he doesn't run. This is teaching him that he needs to stay in time out and that mom means business- this isn't fun and play time but time to think about his actions, calm down, re-group and continue with the evening. Tonight he got 3 of these and he screamed through 2 of them. We use the end of the hallway because we don't want to do his room or crib because that is where he sleeps and it is a peaceful place. We don't want to do a time out on our lap in the living room since that is where the action is and he needs to be removed from the action. And we are working on making mommy and daddy's room a special room to be in so we don't want to do it there either.
Once his time is up I look right at him on eye level and tell him the same thing every time, "Brandon, your time out is up. The reason why you were in time out is because you did not listen to mommy and daddy and you hit the television. We don't hit the television. The next time you hit the television you will be in time out again. I love you very much." Then I give him lots of hugs and kisses so he knows we love him and care about him and then we go play. Tonight it took him some time to get back in to the 'play' thing again. He wanted to sit in the middle of the hall and cry. After attempting to engage him and it not working I just went in the living room and started to play and he eventually joined in.
After the third time of time outs and television hitting I was getting exhausetd (this was all in less than 10 minutes). There was a second of thought thinking if I just slap his hands lightly won't he get the picture! NOPE! He won't and most likely he will just keep hitting the tv and other things and people. Rob and I were spanked growing up but we have agreed to not spank our kids. So far- so good. It is hard to be consistant and dedicated to discipline. The hard part for me is it being 8pm and night in lots of back pain and having to move up and down from floor to recliner to standing. It makes me sound lazy but evening time is very painful and moving exhausts everything.
As for discipline- we will continue to work on it. I felt bad that he was crying and it seemed like the world was ending but I didn't give up. I won't give up. We are committed to raising well behaved kids and we are dedicated to the journey no matter how hard or easy it may be. We do re-direct him often. After time out we start a different play item and when he gets his first warning we redirect him as well.
Many folks have thought I am nuts for starting to discipline him at only one year old. To that I reply....he is much smarter than you or I know. He knows yes and no...he knows how to ask for things without speaking...he knows he isn't supposed to bang the tv and that when he does he will get a reaction out of it. We have to start somewhere and right now discipling him for one thing (The tv) is exactly what we should be doing.
It actually reminds me a bit of when I was managing the Alzheimers unit and I would tell everyone- our residents are smater than we give them credit for. They do know what is going on from time to time. I do believe that.
Saturday....lazy day!
Today was a FUN day- despite my pain.
Since Brandon still gets up in the middle of the night a few times- I get up with him. I like getting up with him and cuddling with him- even though I am still groggy from pain meds.
Since that is my role, Rob steps up in the morning and takes care of him while I get an extra hour of sleep.
Once we were all up and bright eyed we decided to do a Target run since we need some very basic supplies that we some how got low on! I decided to add a trip to the Unique Thrift Store. I LOVE THIS STORE!!!! Brandon just outgrew his 12 month clothes this week- mostly his 3 pairs of jeans. We ended up getting 4 pairs of jeans, 2 pairs of shorts, 4 shirts, a pair of cute nike shoes, 2 pajamas and oodles and oodles of toys for about $50.00! He got a huge bucket of the big lego block things. He got a ball toy that pops balls in the air and spins them around. He got 2 animal tupperware containers to store food it. Mom got 2 new (never used) travel coffee mugs and Brandon got 25 little hot wheels cars. I think I am forgetting a few things too!
It was a fun day with the family. I LOVE thrift stores!
Since Brandon still gets up in the middle of the night a few times- I get up with him. I like getting up with him and cuddling with him- even though I am still groggy from pain meds.
Since that is my role, Rob steps up in the morning and takes care of him while I get an extra hour of sleep.
Once we were all up and bright eyed we decided to do a Target run since we need some very basic supplies that we some how got low on! I decided to add a trip to the Unique Thrift Store. I LOVE THIS STORE!!!! Brandon just outgrew his 12 month clothes this week- mostly his 3 pairs of jeans. We ended up getting 4 pairs of jeans, 2 pairs of shorts, 4 shirts, a pair of cute nike shoes, 2 pajamas and oodles and oodles of toys for about $50.00! He got a huge bucket of the big lego block things. He got a ball toy that pops balls in the air and spins them around. He got 2 animal tupperware containers to store food it. Mom got 2 new (never used) travel coffee mugs and Brandon got 25 little hot wheels cars. I think I am forgetting a few things too!
It was a fun day with the family. I LOVE thrift stores!
Mohawk visits the Children's Museum
Last Saturday Auntie Key, Grandma, Mommy and Brandon had a special night at the Children's Museum. It was a private event for the companies that sponsored the museum and Auntie Key got 4 tickets for us to go. They provided a great meal and all the exhibits were open to play. Mr. Mohawk had a fun time. He got to spend lots of time in the water area and got soaked- even with an apron on. It is interesting to see his attention span. If we let him he would have stayed at that water station (one small part of the water station) for hours. It the photos posted at the 'sand' table- he was there for close to 20 minutes. He will be one of those kids where you have to tell him 'time to leave' over and over. I am preparing for that. It was nice to see that he could play for longer periods of time and a child the same age next to him couldn't play there for half a minute. We had a fun time. 
Friday, May 8, 2009
Single Dad
Yes, you may need to re-read the title of this post. Yes, I did write "Single Dad".
Rob is becoming a single dad and I am more than okay with that. Actually, I am thankful for that.
To clear up the 'elephant in the room' I will explain further.
NO- we are not getting divorced.
NO- we are not separating.
NO- we don't have the perfect marriage and we have had our share of really rough times. However, NO I am not going anywhere- per say. Everything about Rob becoming a single dad revolves around me and my back.
For starters; I have degenerative disc disease in my lumbar spine. This has caused the disc to bulge and now within the past few weeks has dehydrated. Think of a grape drying up into a raisin. Your discs are mostly water and fluid and they show up white on an MRI. Mine shows up pitch black. We also just learned that I have one extra vertebrae in my back as well which has caused some issues in my treatment the past 6 months in what disc and what vertebrae. Along with the disc bulge and becoming dehydrated I have a annular tear that has continued to tear in the past few months- even through my treatment. Because of all this stuff going on in my lower back a mass has started to form and needs to be fixed.
After undergoing treatment for 7 months now I have found a new neurosurgeon who decided there is nothing more I can do but to go ahead with surgery. I will be having a level 1 (might become a level 2 depending on an upcoming MRI and CT scan) spinal fusion surgery on Friday, June 5th. My neurosurgeon wants me to stay in the hospital for a minimum of 5 days. Once I go home I will be in bed for another few weeks and hopefully able to walk to the end of the driveway in a few weeks post surgery. It is a VERY painful surgery and a long recovery. I will have to wear a brace for almost 9 months after the surgery. The surgery also requires a bone graph which they will take bone from my hip to help repair my back. My hip will also be in pain for up to 3 months. They will be inserting a pain pump which will help with the pain but it will be a very painful few months.
I have to be honest. I am VERY SCARED. I have been freaking out- waking up in tears in the middle of the night, having nightmares and lots of anxiety over the issue. I am scared of the pain, the hospital stay, moving, even going to the bathroom. I am also scared of the house, the cats, paying bills, medications, recovering, Rob and Brandon.
Because of this massive surgery, Rob will become a single dad. I will not be able to lift Brandon for at least 9 months after the surgery. Rob will be responsible for every aspect of our home. There is no "can you watch Brandon so I can take a shower" or "You get Brandon in his high chair and I will get his lunch." or "Can you get up with him in the middle of the night?" or "He is getting into the toilet...stop him." Rob will have to do it all. We usually do things well as a team and it works great. I won't be able to get out of bed. Not only will Rob have to be a single dad to Brandon but I will need round the clock care as well. Asking for help is the MOST difficult thing for both of us. I am worried that I will try and do too much too soon or not follow Dr.s orders. I am worried that Rob will get burnt out and also have a hard time asking for help. We will be taking it one day at a time.
As for Brandon, he obviously doesn't know this is coming. Due to my last discogram (where they placed needles into my disc to see which disc and which areas are the most painful- IT WAS A MILLION TIMES WORSE THAN CHILDBIRTH) I have been in more pain. Because I can only do so much in a day I take lots of breaks. The most painful is sitting and standing so I am in our bedroom often lying down. Brandon and Rob have built a huge bond together the past few days and it will only get stronger. I am worried about Brandon and him not understanding why mommy can't pick him up or why mommy is always in bed or why mommy can't even bend over to kiss me. This is what I am most scared of and what hurts me the most. Give me the needles, the bone graphs, the rods and screws in my spine....but me not being able to lift my son or hug him or kiss his little head goodnight is what will hurt the most. I guess I am most scared for the emotional part of this surgery and how to try and be mommy. I am preparing my best but it will hit me like a ton of bricks when he walks over to me and lifts his arms and wants me to pick him up.
Like I said, I have started distancing myself from Brandon and Rob already. Tonight I took Brandon too visit my mom and my sister and it was very hard. The 2 hours I was gone with him were very painful and rough. As I pulled in the driveway Rob came out to get Brandon and I headed to bed. That was all I could do for one day.
I will do my best to post my journey and share what I can (and willing to). You can only prepare so much...
Rob is becoming a single dad and I am more than okay with that. Actually, I am thankful for that.
To clear up the 'elephant in the room' I will explain further.
NO- we are not getting divorced.
NO- we are not separating.
NO- we don't have the perfect marriage and we have had our share of really rough times. However, NO I am not going anywhere- per say. Everything about Rob becoming a single dad revolves around me and my back.
For starters; I have degenerative disc disease in my lumbar spine. This has caused the disc to bulge and now within the past few weeks has dehydrated. Think of a grape drying up into a raisin. Your discs are mostly water and fluid and they show up white on an MRI. Mine shows up pitch black. We also just learned that I have one extra vertebrae in my back as well which has caused some issues in my treatment the past 6 months in what disc and what vertebrae. Along with the disc bulge and becoming dehydrated I have a annular tear that has continued to tear in the past few months- even through my treatment. Because of all this stuff going on in my lower back a mass has started to form and needs to be fixed.
After undergoing treatment for 7 months now I have found a new neurosurgeon who decided there is nothing more I can do but to go ahead with surgery. I will be having a level 1 (might become a level 2 depending on an upcoming MRI and CT scan) spinal fusion surgery on Friday, June 5th. My neurosurgeon wants me to stay in the hospital for a minimum of 5 days. Once I go home I will be in bed for another few weeks and hopefully able to walk to the end of the driveway in a few weeks post surgery. It is a VERY painful surgery and a long recovery. I will have to wear a brace for almost 9 months after the surgery. The surgery also requires a bone graph which they will take bone from my hip to help repair my back. My hip will also be in pain for up to 3 months. They will be inserting a pain pump which will help with the pain but it will be a very painful few months.
I have to be honest. I am VERY SCARED. I have been freaking out- waking up in tears in the middle of the night, having nightmares and lots of anxiety over the issue. I am scared of the pain, the hospital stay, moving, even going to the bathroom. I am also scared of the house, the cats, paying bills, medications, recovering, Rob and Brandon.
Because of this massive surgery, Rob will become a single dad. I will not be able to lift Brandon for at least 9 months after the surgery. Rob will be responsible for every aspect of our home. There is no "can you watch Brandon so I can take a shower" or "You get Brandon in his high chair and I will get his lunch." or "Can you get up with him in the middle of the night?" or "He is getting into the toilet...stop him." Rob will have to do it all. We usually do things well as a team and it works great. I won't be able to get out of bed. Not only will Rob have to be a single dad to Brandon but I will need round the clock care as well. Asking for help is the MOST difficult thing for both of us. I am worried that I will try and do too much too soon or not follow Dr.s orders. I am worried that Rob will get burnt out and also have a hard time asking for help. We will be taking it one day at a time.
As for Brandon, he obviously doesn't know this is coming. Due to my last discogram (where they placed needles into my disc to see which disc and which areas are the most painful- IT WAS A MILLION TIMES WORSE THAN CHILDBIRTH) I have been in more pain. Because I can only do so much in a day I take lots of breaks. The most painful is sitting and standing so I am in our bedroom often lying down. Brandon and Rob have built a huge bond together the past few days and it will only get stronger. I am worried about Brandon and him not understanding why mommy can't pick him up or why mommy is always in bed or why mommy can't even bend over to kiss me. This is what I am most scared of and what hurts me the most. Give me the needles, the bone graphs, the rods and screws in my spine....but me not being able to lift my son or hug him or kiss his little head goodnight is what will hurt the most. I guess I am most scared for the emotional part of this surgery and how to try and be mommy. I am preparing my best but it will hit me like a ton of bricks when he walks over to me and lifts his arms and wants me to pick him up.
Like I said, I have started distancing myself from Brandon and Rob already. Tonight I took Brandon too visit my mom and my sister and it was very hard. The 2 hours I was gone with him were very painful and rough. As I pulled in the driveway Rob came out to get Brandon and I headed to bed. That was all I could do for one day.
I will do my best to post my journey and share what I can (and willing to). You can only prepare so much...
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